Out Now! – The Mood Book

Following on from the bestselling Mood Cards, psychotherapist Andrea Harrn releases her latest title, The Mood Book.

The Mood Book is for people who are interested in learning more about how and why they feel the way they do.  It explores the highs and lows, the complexities and intensities, as well as the joyous pleasures and successes of 21st century life.  The book offers an accessible way to help understand yourself, and to challenge your thinking so you can move forward in a positive way.

Counsellor Andrea Harrn sits down with Neil del Strother in today’s podcast to discuss her latest release, The Mood Book. They discuss the importance of talking about, and accepting, our problems and emotions. They also discuss the question of how a mood or emotion, such as addiction, can be defined.

Exploring three moods and emotions on Valentine’s day

Lonely

There are two types of loneliness: social and emotional. These days, cities become transient bases and we don’t always have time to get to know those around us. Emotional loneliness occurs when people feel alone with their concerns, which can happen even within a family or social group. The problem arises when people feel both social and emotional loneliness, which can lead to mental health issues such as stress or depression. Major life changes can also contribute to feeling isolated, such as having a baby, becoming a carer or retiring. A bereavement or break-up – where life has changed drastically, perhaps through no fault of our own – can leave us feeling lost in our thoughts and feelings. Friends and family may try to support you, but when they leave it’s just you, with only your loneliness for company.

Support & guidance

There are things we can all do to help ourselves feel less isolated. We’re all part of a wider network of humanity, not alone in this world – although it may feel that way. If you’re expecting others to lift you out of your loneliness, you may be waiting a long time. It’s really down to you. Try to do more, take time for conversations – even with passing strangers. Give people in your life a chance to connect with you on an emotional level. If you struggle to socialize, come out of your comfort zone, join a group or start a new hobby to stimulate your mind and re-energize yourself. Say yes to invites. Remember: wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness and connection, and, although it may be hard to walk alone, every step you take may be the start of a new friendship.

How would you like your life to be?
What can you do to help yourself feel more connected?
Definition

Feeling alone, without anyone special, friends or company; feeling disconnected from others and from life itself; not having anyone to share your day, week or plans with. You can be in a big crowd and still feel alone.

Signs & symptoms

Feeling sad, confused, self-critical, isolated, needy, anxious.

Definition

A feeling of intense dislike towards someone or something.

Signs & symptoms

Revolted, disgusted, angry, displeased, hesitant, hostile.

Hate

Hate can be triggered internally (not getting your own way) or externally (the behaviour of others). It can grow from anger and hurt or painful acts by others, whether emotional, physical or sexual. Or perhaps you hate someone who has bullied you over a period of time. This kind of hatred leads to resentment, demotivation and thoughts of revenge; it has energy and strength, but never brings happiness. Then there is the blind hatred connected to difference, racism, religion, sexual orientation, extremism, misogyny; small-minded, insidious and dangerous, it can influence others and preys on vulnerable minds. There is a thin line between love and hate, and in relationships hate is part of the separation process.

Support & guidance When hatred is held deep within, it’s toxic and damaging to the soul. It’s a form of self-harm and actually gives power to the target of your hate. Do you see them as being more important than you? Does their behaviour count more than your reaction? If you have ever felt hated yourself, what did you do to deserve it? It’s human nature to seek love, nurturing and respect; to feel valued and appreciated for who you are. It’s not what happens to us in life that creates problems, but our beliefs surrounding those experiences. Check your negative thinking. Look for evidence to prove or disprove your theories. Become an observer rather than a participant. Most importantly, free yourself from your hateful thoughts and allow that energy to dissipate, making room for love, compassion and understanding. When you hate someone, they don’t feel your pain – you do!

Does hatred have a space in your life?
How does it affect you?
What needs to happen for you to let go?

Hurt

We feel emotionally hurt when we’re let down by others. This may be to do with expec– tations we have on people to treat us as we would them, and this hasn’t happened. This might be over something seemingly minor, like not being listened to, valued or appreciated, but when it happens continuously, we begin to lose confidence in ourselves and self-doubt can set in. It’s important to be honest about our thoughts and feelings, but if you don’t feel heard, this is damaging to the soul. A betrayal of trust or abuse will leave deep scars within, causing confusion and leading to stress and depression. Holding feelings in exacerbates the problem, and it then becomes harder to make decisions, communicate effectively and ensure our needs are met. Feeling hurt takes energy that could be used for other things.

Support & guidance It’s crucial to be aware of the hurt inside yourself and understand that you have control over your life and whether you allow yourself to be hurt again. It’s hard to make change, walk away and move on, yet to allow yourself to continually be hurt is a form of self-harm. No one has to suffer at the hands of another. We all have the right to take care of ourselves, and must do so. Acknowledge the reasons for your hurt and try to talk them through with someone you trust. Think about lowering your expectations of others to avoid disappointment, or learn to be more assertive in speaking your mind. An argument or disagreement can enable both parties to air their feelings and then move on, without holding onto hurt. Hurting makes you human and can guide you for the future.

What has been your most painful hurt?
How did you move on?
Definition

Being injured, wounded or damaged; feeling weakened or undermined.

Signs & symptoms

Feeling deeply disappointed, let down, scarred, broken, rocked and insecure.

The Mood Book

Identify and Explore 100 Moods and Emotions

Learn to recognize your moods and emotions, identify triggers and overcome any obstacles that may be affecting your personal life with this accessible in-depth book on over 100 feelings, states of mind and mood disorders. With clear, straightforward advice on identifying signs and symptoms, how particular moods and emotions manifest, their underlying causes, and support and guidance on how to deal with them, you can increase your self-awareness and confidence. Choose a mood to explore at random, or check the A-Z listing if you want to address a specific emotion. Includes real-life case studies that explore specific problems and solutions. 

Card Packs Available: 
The Mood Cards: 

Make Sense of Your Moods and Emotions for Clarity, Confidence and Well-Being

Understand Deep Emotions:

Explore More Complex Emotions and Behaviours for Healing, Happiness and Inner Peace